The world has never been radically shaped by ‘ordinary’ people.

Illness has been plaguing me for the last 2 months, but I am publishing a very short Gaius from back in December 2011 (a month before I started a Gaius Facebook page…)

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Take heart, for the world has never been radically shaped by ‘ordinary’ people.
…
“To accomplish ‘extraordinary’ things, people need to stop being ‘ordinary’. The desire to be ‘normal’ and the innate need, felt by so many, to conform to peer, media and social pressures, turns the majority of people away from their true potential and makes them ‘ordinary’ themselves – dragging many of them into drudgery, disappointment, sadness, despair, and dependence on living their lives through watching others live artificial ones.

‘Ordinary’ people can never break free from the mundane, the acquiescent, the servile. It takes ‘extraordinary’ people to change the world and make exciting things happen – new, special, and innovative things.

To truly find your place in life, develop your mind, listen to your heart, act with kindness and care to those around you, and be the different person you were always meant to be. Be ‘extraordinary’, and be all the happier for it!” ~ Gaius Quinterus

Steer away from Loneliness by Planning, Preparing, and Proceeding

Loneliness is not being ‘Alone’ (a well known fact), although that can certainly be a contributory factor to it. It is perfectly possible to be dreadfully lonely while being surrounded by crowds of people. So if it is not the ‘outside of us’ that ‘makes’ us lonely, are we to assume it is all from within us, and hardly influenced by our surroundings in any way? Perhaps, is the answer, and certainly a strong sense of self-respect, and self-love, can help combat the feelings of loneliness, no matter where we find ourselves, and in what circumstances. But planning, preparation and training are also key in the fight against feeling lonely. Then we can proceed with confidence and self-assurance.

Take the example of the picture – the rower is Svein Ove Ask who had only a few weeks earlier rowed, single-handed for 10 days, from Norway to Shetland (a distance of 180 miles). He spent a few weeks in Shetland overhauling his boat and then headed all the way back again (September 1996) – the picture is taken, by helicopter, when he was on his third day of the return journey home to Norway. Did he ever feel lonely? I asked him that question, and he said, ‘No, he was happy and content and he had faith in the boat, which he had built himself. This had been a proving run for him and all had gone well, and he was always too busy to be lonely.’ His confidence and self-assurance were infectious, and he was an inspiration to simply trust oneself, and one’s training, prepare for every possible eventuality and then get on with the journey planned. He was certainly very alone setting across the North Sea with only the strength of his own muscles to take him there – he had no stand-by outboard or engine of any sort. Yet, he was not lonely, not in any way burdened by the lack of ‘fitting in’ and not in any way apprehensive of the trip ahead of him. He did get back to Norway, safely, it should be noted.

So, our individual journey may not be over the North Sea in a rowing boat, but sometimes our individual journey through ‘life’ can seem just as daunting, just as fraught with danger and equally as uncertain on timescale, supplies needed, the ‘weather’ we may encounter, and the reception waiting for us at the other end. Such anxieties can build stress within us, and wear down our inner confidence, cause us to doubt our abilities and resolve, and feel ‘lonely’ particularly when we are at our furthest from ‘land’ (or our ‘safe haven’ in life).

Journeys in life are not always planned, and those un-planned ones can often be the hardest, when we are taken out of our routine and thrown into an unknown situation (things like health issues, family circumstances and career changes, might all happen in seconds with no warning), but the principles still remain and we have to try and remain ready, watchful and prepared for anything we can reasonably anticipate. Being prepared need not be a sign of irrational anxiety and, in fact, can help us avoid being lonely when we find ourselves suddenly facing a wide ocean without the backup we hoped we would have. Loneliness grows from inside us, and can be kept at bay by (as best we can) Planning, Preparing and then Proceeding with confidence. It is not always easy, but the rewards are in direct proportion to the effort we put in, and will serve us well for future ‘journeys’. Stay safe, stay happy, and know that it is no shame to feel lonely, at times – human beings all do at some point in their lives.

‘Decide the path in life you wish to follow (Plan)
Gather your equipment and food for the journey (Prepare)
Continue until you reach your destination (Proceed)’

~ Gaius Quinterus

The Fire Within

Today (6^th October 2016) is National Poetry Day, so I hope you don’t mind if I share one of my offerings with you….

Without a picture this time… just the words to focus on…

Preamble – as an ‘Aspie’ I am terribly inclined to take a passing remark EXACTLY as it is said, letting literality overcome context, in other words the wrong way – even from my lovely wife and children, who I know would never say or do anything to hurt me. Yet, still, I sometimes latch onto a word or phrase and my mind takes it and runs with it and makes it hell inside for me and, sadly, sometimes difficult for those around me too. I sometimes have to play out my feelings on my own, before I can broach the subject…      This poem is about what it feels like, for me inside, when that happens. As with all my poems, it may have some dark bits, but it ends on a positive note, with hope.

The Fire Within
(Gaius Quinterus – April 2013)

We laugh, entangled lives drift calmly on,
Yet, one remark, and dreamy thoughts distort
A passing phrase, and open gates of doubt.
Mind’s armies spoiling for a vicious fight.
They start … the fire within.

I know that sound, as anger sparks with joy.
A hateful thought of vengeance at injustice
Spoken, your casual words betraying inner guilt?
Apologise? To me! Don’t make me laugh!
I hear … the fire within.

I know that stench, as fear constricts and binds.
I need your life, your love in all I do, but
Logic’s soulless harshness forces out the
Light. I will not budge! I’ll never give an inch!
I smell … the fire within.

I feel your pain, the sting of burning words.
Why can’t I stop? Why must I carry on
This torment for us both? Truth hurts
So I will make it hurt us both. It’s only fair!
It scars … the fire within.

‘Don’t answer back! Be quiet you stupid fool!’,
I hear my mind plead peace to counter heartless
Utterings, as guilt descends in crashing waves.
I pause, and see myself just self-destroying.
It slows … the fire within.

Stopped now. Heart’s racing beat echoes silently,
Numbed with peace, the world moves again.
At least you weren’t here, imaginings played out,
Forgotten times of love remembered once again.
It calms … the fire within.

Our lives, and their purposes, must not be rushed

Everything takes time to grow, develop, mature and be useful – our present world loves to rush everything and to see instant results…. But that is not how the world works best – It does not make us truly happy to be instantly gratified, no matter what the marketing people tell us, what the adverts say, and what promises are made… Anything worthwhile, long-lasting and fruitful takes time – often years of constant effort, hard work, sacrifices and continually re-assessing, and re-focussing on, the day-to-day goals and realistically achievable victories of living.

Picture is at the ‘Hams of Muckle Roe, Shetland, Scotland’ taken by me

Learning from nature, we can see that in the case of a beautiful coastline it can take many millions of years to give us something that soothes our souls and enriches our lives. Our human lives, and their purposes, must not be rushed either, for that is not the way to grow as intended – in harmony with the world, and the other people, around us. We start our lives as very small, puny infants, knowing little, and with needs that far outweigh what we can do for ourselves.

As we progress through life we see things and opportunities we would like to explore, play with, strive for, and we start to get hit by the advertising and marketing companies who tell us what they think we need, want, must have, etc…. They have no idea what is best for us (simply using the ‘one-size fits all’ mentality suits advertising agencies and their like..), and yet they try to take our minds away from enjoying what we have already, what might be all we really need to be happy and content where we are… They cloud our judgements with their ‘Get Rich Quick’ schemes, their ‘Be Happy’ sales pitches and their desire to part us (or our parents when we are young) with more and more money…. THEY do not care about what is really best for us – we have to discover that for ourselves – we need to train our minds and hearts to seek true happiness through compassion and love for others – a giving life is what brings happiness, and what makes us focus on what matters to make our lives truly worthwhile….

This all takes time, and perhaps many mistakes before we realise the sense of it, but it honestly takes years for most people, and cannot be hurried. The faster we learn, the less pain and hardship we have to endure – the more we give to others (of our time, talents and skills), the more we receive ourselves for it is its own reward (not everyone is grateful, but most are) – Still, they (the marketeers) try to deflect us as we grow older, and try to make us think selfishly – but ultimately the money-driven organisations will fail and become nothing, while what we plant, nourish and tend (with constant love, caring, humility and compassion) will grow and spread to many others. It really does take time, but that time is well spent – much love to all !

Worthwhile, long-lasting results take time – often years. Our lives, and their purposes, must not be rushed, for that is not the way to grow as intended – in harmony with the world, and the people, around us.
~ Gaius Quinterus

Like trees in a forest, much depends on where we are planted.

‘We are like trees in a forest – surrounded by other trees but with no real understanding, beyond what we can ‘see’ or perhaps personally ‘feel’, of the larger forest or the greater land upon which the forest stands. The trees around may be young or old, small and bent or tall and straight, covered in fresh leaves or struggling to survive, and yet they must co-exist with them all – we are ‘trees’ in this sense (along with other human beings), and that is what ‘trees’ do….

Yet every tree and plant seeks to grow and survive, looks for growth and shelter where it can, and provides support and company for those around it. Plants enjoy the company of other plants, thrive on the shared benefits to the rest of nature, and provides homes and food for many species. The struggle for survival is just as real in the trees’ world, as it is in our frantic human world – we just don’t often see it happening. Predators abound, both visible and microscopic, the conditions of nature can, and do, take their toll – wind, rain, lightning, landslides, etc. Humans often only plant trees to cultivate and harvest them – so who can know what will happen to an individual tree? The tree will still do its best to survive, to flourish and to grow – never knowing if it will be destined for a shipyard to help make an ocean-going boat, or to a sawmill to be made into pallets for carrying goods around the world, timber for a beautiful floor, or joists and materials for a house?

Does it matter to the tree? No. it doesn’t. These decisions are out of its’ hands, and it probably isn’t even aware of the choices…

Should it matter to us what happens to our lives? Difficult question to answer, because fundamentally it does matter –  but only because we have ‘expectations’ (often unrealistic expectations….) and when things don’t go the way we  think they should, then we become disheartened, distressed, depressed, and often disillusioned….

But, *should* it matter to us as human individuals?? Well, inasmuch as we can have some say in what happens (we all have free will – a true blessing, and also our greatest weakness) we must focus, as best we can, for there is no doubt that our actions and decisions affect the path our life takes from minute to minute, and day to day… Unlike the trees, we have some knowledge of what options might be possible for our lives, but we share the same lack of control (and clear vision of the future) as a tree in many ways. There are no two ways about it – we are where we are in life, have the opportunities we have, and the life we have arrived at – these are not things that can be simply ‘set aside’ or glossed over – life is for living, of course, but starting where we are, with the tools and capabilities we have – that is our purpose, and, for better or worse is primarily our decision… not entirely, of course, but we have a great deal of bearing on our future – certainly more than a tree does….

Perhaps the realism of ‘being’ a tree, but tempered with a clarity of purpose, honesty of thought, compassion and love – it is then our purpose will make itself more apparent – a world-going, sailing vessel, a great way to move cargo, a beautiful floor, or a sturdy, shelter-giving house – or who knows?… This is where we are planted – here is when we are planted, and tomorrow is up to us – let us grow and develop and be worthwhile ‘trees’ in this world which needs strong, productive, loving, caring people! Things are planned for us, of that we can be certain – let us enjoy the life we have been handed!

So in a very real sense then as it is for trees, so it is for us – our lives apparently affect only a little of the world in which we live, and we sometimes glimpse only a little of what greater things are possible for us, and yet we each have a uniquely personal opportunity to grow and develop as we should, achieving great things from within the circumstances in which we are planted.’

~ Gaius Quinterus

Our life is out there, waiting to welcome us, with open arms!

No matter how long the journey, how dark the valley, how steep the sides, what obstacles stand in our way, and even if we can’t see it directly – there is a future out there, for us individually, one in which the sun shines and we are out of the corridor of despair, self-doubt and introspection.

Life can close in on us, crush us and feel like it is spitting us out… but, while we may feel we are in a tunnel, remember that there is actually no roof – it only feels like a tunnel because we have stopped seeing the light above us – it is always there and always shining.

For instance, it is a truly great experience to fly in a plane in the middle of a miserable, wet, Winter day – when you climb up through the clouds, suddenly you climb high enough to break through the top and the cabin is flooded with bright sunlight. It is a joyous feeling and all thoughts of the dismal day, you just left behind a few minutes ago, are forgotten, as you let the heat of the sun warm your face, relax as the plane settles into smooth, turbulent-free flight, and realise that life is actually very good, and (for a short while at least) you have everything you need, and no need to worry.

Let’s consider the whole flying experience for a minute… you arrived at the airport, seemingly ludicrously early, so they can go through all their screening checks – you are  nervous about how you packed everything so it is all secure and safe – you are concerned you are only taking the permitted things through check-in for hand luggage – there is the interminable waiting that seems to be part of every airport transit now – perhaps you can look outside to see the plane sitting, waiting, with rain pouring off it, and the wind howling… knowing you have to leave the warm, dry departure lounge and face the outdoors yourself… then they call the flight for boarding and you get your stuff gathered up trying not to forget anything, head outside, bracing yourself against the cold, wet, wind and board the plane… The weary safety announcements are read out and acted out by the cabin crew… after listening politely the plane starts up, heads for the runway and finally takes off…. Then the ‘fun’ begins as it has to climb through the blustery, wet, cloudy weather.. and yet finally you burst through the clouds and there really is a different world up there.. Sure, it may be bumpy at the other end if they also have poor weather, but it is so, so good to have some respite from the worst of the weather, and enjoy the sun-filled life for a while. The feeling lasts and helps with the descent at the end of the flight – the feeling can last for days, and help you cope with life in general – Was it worth the effort of the airport, the waiting and the climb? Yes, of course it was – you would happily do it again, for the same rewards…

The journey of Life can be a bit like the whole flight experience – extra effort required sometimes, additional hassles to fight through, strange rules to follow, and putting your head down and fighting the ‘storms’ of life … But, remember the sun really is shining up there, every day, above the clouds … Remember that the top of the tunnel is not real and you can fly up through it and enjoy the rays and warmth of the sun just by taking a ‘flight’ even at night time!! – The sun has been around for millions of years and will continue for millions more years – there for all of us, and especially there for you, even in your dreams…

As the picture says, ‘Take heart that the sun is above us, and shines every day, as it has done for millions of years! In the distance we can witness its glow and see its fire – our life is out there, waiting to welcome us, with open arms!’
~ Gaius Quinterus

Cultivate within your heart the Desire to serve others, guided by Love!

What do you desire most? What drives you each day to get up, get dressed and prepare for a new day? What set of values do you place on long-term, medium-term or short-term results? Answers to these questions can help focus our minds and determine our actions to make use of the time and talents we have.

Before we delve into these questions, perhaps we need to examine the word ‘desire’ because this word must not be confused with the word ‘love’. They are, very much, related, but they are not the same emotion. Desire is more accurately associated with “wanting, wishing for, longing for and craving a situation or ‘thing’”. Often commonly applied to a sexual goal or acquisition of an object, it is, in essence, a driving force for a particular end result. It is therefore essentially a conscious mental stance we take, a ‘tool’ to achieve an objective, often associated with a selfish state of mind, but it does not *have* to be selfish. If the end goal is for ‘self’ then the desire is certainly selfish, but if the end goal is one established through genuine love for others and the heartfelt wish to serve others, then ‘desire’ takes on a different role and becomes a personal mechanism to overcome obstacles and help power our ‘journey’, with passion and determination, to reach the goal that can benefit those we would love, and correctly desire, to help.

So, when you get up each day, what is the first thing your mind settles on wanting to do? Are you focused on a positive, life-changing objective, or a selfish path that may, or may not, bear fruit..? Are you determined to use your skills and resources, your experience and energy, your time and opportunity, to help others, or to simply help yourself? Have you considered, and do you regularly review, the short-term, medium-term and long-term impact of your objectives? Are these objectives driven and powered by Love for others, or are they powered by Love for yourself?

Of course, work and family obligations play a big part, and we must attend to those things as they come before us, and we also have to rest, eat, etc. too – these things are not selfish – they are part of life. But the parts we choose to plan for the future – the varying types of focus in our lives – these may or may not be desires, and we have to consider what the valid ones are, and make sure they occupy our minds and intellect as best we can. What we think about, what drives us, what we have set as our targets and what we desire, then that is what we become – be gentle, kind, caring and thoughtful with others and you will become a gentle, kind, caring and thoughtful person – it is inevitable!

Keeping Love to the forefront of our decisions makes everything much more organised, much nicer for others, and ultimately serves us best as well. Love brings with it Compassion, Empathy, Kindness, Gentleness, and the other things we often talk about positively – we cannot have too much of these things in this world – we owe it to each other! Much love, and bless you all – may your desires be good ones, and may they all come to fruition!

Cultivate within your heart the Desire to serve others, guided by Love. It is a powerful, and active, emotional tool, which can guide and focus our lives for good, in a wonderful way.

~ Gaius Quinterus

Our souls and our inner, deepest, beings, need to love others to be truly alive

The world is quick to help us spend our money on useless ‘stuff’, quick to make us waste our time on doing nothing of value, and yet is also quick to condemn those who give of themselves willingly to help others, with no thought of reward, praise or glory from what they are doing. When we talk about the ‘value’ of things, or possessions like houses, cars, etc. then we are completely missing the point about what really matters.

The most valuable thing you can give to any individual (and that includes yourself), or to any situation, is your care, your compassion, and understanding – but, most especially, your heartfelt Love! Love is free to give, and pays you back many times over – it has no monetary value, but its value is beyond price, in the good it can do in the lives of others. Giving of your Love, goes against all rational principles promoted by the big money-making organisations and thinkers. Strangely, Love only has real value when it is given away, because to hold it back makes it wither, die and become a personal, burden of unused guilt – and it can break you unless you use it well! Our lives, our souls and our inner, deepest, beings, need to love others to be truly alive – the rewards are many time more than what we give away, making it easier to give out even more.

Let me put it like this – over countless millennia, many scientists, innovators and engineers, have searched for the perpetual machine – a machine that needs no energy put into it, because it produces more than it uses – in the real, physical 3D world we inhabit then a perpetual machine cannot happen due to technical stuff like friction, wear, etc…. BUT Love, real life action founded on Love, and driven by Love at its core, IS that perpetual machine. It produces more and more Love along the way, it excites and invigorates people in their daily lives and everything they do, everyone they meet is touched by it  – it is the essence and source of the power we need in this world to make positive changes, to bring a better life to those who struggle, and it grows and expands to affect our entire existence if we keep giving it away. Fire up the machine and it goes and drives all by itself, and gives more and more Love to use, again and again. Yes, it is miraculous, but it truly works!

We know that when we are ‘in love’ we see everything differently, experience everything more intently, feel positive about the present, the future, and can make decisions much more easily – being ‘in love’ (with our existence and our world) is a feeling we can immerse ourselves in when we help others to overcome their problems, when we put ourselves outside of our personal comfort zone, and when we have no thought of reward except to make others joyful, happy and comfortable.

And what sort of ‘material’ is used in making the components, the mechanism and the moving parts for this wonderful perpetual machine? Compassion, Empathy, Truth, and make sure to throw in any Kindness, Happiness, Joy, Trust and Hope anytime you like – and it will run beautifully, all by itself! Just bring the materials together, and they will make the ‘machine’ all by themselves – we just have to use it! The more you use it, the better it gets – it is self-maintaining, self-fueling, and self-lubricating – an engineer’s dream! From within our hearts and souls we can give out love to others and watch the wave grow and build – it may seem like magic, but Love is the beginning of all good things, and Love is the way we can correctly engage with the World and make a real, positive, difference among the people we know and contact.

 

Love is the perpetual machine we need as the true power source in our lives – the more we give away, the more we have to give! ~ Gaius Quinterus

When your reason fails – go with your heart!

Our lives are full of decisions, minute by minute, day by day and year by year. Some are of relatively little consequence to our lives and are easy to decide upon, others are more profound and can affect the course our life might take, and other decisions may, or may not, impact upon the lives of others, too.

And it doesn’t matter if a particular decision seems trivial or of no consequence to others – it can be a major obstacle to you, to your own mind, in your position, with your circumstances…. And the fact it matters to *you* makes it important to *you*.

It is very easy for us, as individuals, especially when life is tough, to become obsessive about the decisions we make – it is increasingly hard at times to try anything different, new, un-tested – and so we get stuck in a mental groove, a *rut* of just doing what we always have and not feeling *brave enough* to explore the great range of opportunities presenting themselves to us…. Sure, we want ‘Happiness’ (and we have mentioned it before in ‘Happiness matters!’) but often the means of getting there simply frustrate us and confuse us…

The world is quick to tell us to buy ‘this’ or ‘that’ and we will be happy, but what if you can’t afford such things, or have no desire for them – will you ever be happy?

Yes, you can be happy, without any question – and it involves turning for guidance to the very thing you feel has nothing left to give, nothing that can be done to help you, that part of you that sometimes feels like an empty place…. It involves turning to your heart – yes, that battered, tired things that feels like it is at breaking point so often – but, *it* is the way to help, the means to find your true path – and if you are keeping focused on love and kindness towards others then your heart can guide you better than any fancy advert, bring you more peace and happiness than any material ‘thing’ and can re-invigorate your mind and your life in ways you would never have dreamed possible.

Much love, and may you all find your way, by consulting with your hearts.

… and, so, for the affirmation 🙂

‘When reason fails, and the world prevents your mind seeing a clear course of action – go with your heart. Your mind can be swayed and affected by the insistent words of your peers, the pressure to accumulate money, the fashions of society and the worries of daily living, but your heart inherently ‘knows’ what is best for you, what will truly and honestly make you happy. This is not the ‘happiness’ of some perceived pleasure, nor the ‘happiness’ of accumulating material wealth, but the type of true happiness that brings inner peace and contentment. Your heart knows how to find it, and its calm, quiet, loving voice will tell you, if you listen well!

~ Gaius Quinterus

‘Be infectious – and, like sparks from a raging fire, spread it about!’

As we grow up as kids and, increasingly, as adults, we are strongly exhorted to avoid all risk of infection as much as we can – cleaning your hands and using hand wash chemicals in a hospital is only sensible, for instance, or when doing anything that might cause any sort of infection to spread in any place frequented by the public – simple common sense advice and the adherence to these practices has reduced the amount of disease and  misery in the modern world enormously.

But it is not just germs, bacteria and viruses that are infectious – these can be very dangerous and even life-threatening in some cases, but they are not the worst, most damaging infections we can have in our daily lives. Certainly, some of them are very bad, but medications can usually deal with them quite quickly and easily.

Far worse and more pervasive, are the emotional and mental ‘infections’ of despair, self-loathing, self-doubt and ingratitude, fear, distrust, anxiety, potential (and actual) rejection, unhappiness and ‘ladder-climbing’ (that vile human habit of climbing on the heads and achievements of others)… It is ‘infections’ like these, and how to counter them, that I wish us to consider in this blog post.

The fragility of the human psyche and the daily mental strain on people’s lives is gradually becoming better understood and scientifically documented by more and more organisations and health professionals – often, nowadays, a psychological profile is undertaken for many jobs to asses the impact of stress on applicants to a particular post being sought. Counter-intuitively (well, on-the-face of it then it seems counter-intuitive to me…) the relatively ‘easy’ upbringing and lifestyle most of us enjoy in this world has only caused an increase in some kinds of self-esteem and mental health problems, despite more and more people having all they need and many times much of what they would ‘like’ as well (even if they do not really need it, and it is not essential to their comfort or survival). Clearly, the acquisition and pursuit of ‘things’ don’t make us happy in the long term. Sure, such acquisitions and pursuits can fill temporary ‘gaps’ in our longing but the underlying problems can’t be dealt with by a ‘quick fix’ like a pill or some medication. Other types of remedy are required!

A more long-term answer for our modern-day human troubles (I say modern-day but these troubles are really as old as Mankind) is to deal with the infection by overcoming it with a new, and more powerful ‘infection’. Each case and every example given can be countered with a more powerful, worthwhile and helpful counter-infection.

Let us examine some of them – as best we can with the time and space we have at our disposal, offering some ideas to help – different people will respond differently to the ideas, but the concept can be extended with trial and error. In all these things then remember to try best and repair yourself, too, then you will be better able to assist in the lives of others, and will reap great rewards for your own soul and in your own life.

So, what ‘good’ infections can we use to counter the bad ones?

The first (and most important) is LOVE. No, I am not talking about feigning affection, or flattering people with mere words, I am talking about real love from the heart, real empathy, real heart-felt desire to help overcome the obstacles people face. Not some wishy-washy stupid, meaningless smile that you put on all the time, just to pretend – not that at all. Real, actual LOVE for other people, especially those who are hurting, needing help and down on their luck – that sort of infection is contagious and spreads like wildfire!

The second we touched on above, and is EMPATHY. Empathy is more than sympathy, it is much more than saying, ‘I understand’ it is feeling the pain with folk, it is engaging with the problems they face and putting yourself in their shoes. If you do that it really can help others, and that infection will also spread when people see the positive results it generates.

A very good infection is GENTLENESS. This can be hard if you are stressed yourself, but being gentle with someone who is struggling can really calm you inside, too. It is a self-healing process, which makes your actions more useful to the rest of the world, and especially to people who need some peace and calm in their own lives.

A sometimes over-used good infection is HUMOUR but is still a good tool to have in your personal and social toolbox. Over-used? Yes, it can easily be over-used and will be taken the wrong way if it is not guided by LOVE and GENTLENESS. Humour is great, and can break down many barriers, but if you are genuine in trying to help yourself, and help others along life’s way, then do not behave in a self-congratulatory way and overdo the humour…. Take it slowly, gently and with love at the forefront of your desire to cope with your own life and help others around to cope with their lives.

WORK is sometimes an unpopular thing to mention, but we, as human beings, find many of our best, most productive times mentally, and physically, are when we actually summon the energy, push ourselves and our ‘envelope’ and work at something. I am NOT saying it is easy, and I fully (personally) understand how some days it is very hard physically, and mentally, to actually work – but the effort is worthwhile when it finally breaks through the natural barriers that seek to hold us back. But, work with Love, Empathy and Gentleness towards yourself – do not be too hard on yourself, for that will only be self-defeating. Humour towards yourself is very therapeutic too, so try to laugh at your mistakes, your stupidity and your failures, for that way makes it easier to try again. We all make mistakes, we are all stupid at times, and we all have failings. As long as we learn from them, they have not been in vain.

Together, we can solve this world’s problems, and solve each others’ problems – we are not ever alone – we are part of a huge family of Mankind. I pray that we can infect others with positive things, like Love, Empathy, Gentleness, Humour and Work, so that all may benefit, including ourselves. Peace and Love to All.

‘Truth simply is, because Love is’

‘Truth’ has no sound, no voice, no size, no volume, no smell, no sense of time, distance or strength. To constrain ‘Truth’ in any such way diminishes it, and forces it to be a human condition, perception or effect. ‘Truth’ simply ‘is’.  It permeates everything and anything – it’s very being is contained in the arrangement of the energy that gives substance to everything – it is the other side of that great expanse of existence which has ‘Love’ written on the side we see – the greatest truth being this:- ‘Truth’ is ‘Love’. It is the manifestation, partner, expression and co-equal of ‘Love’ in our existence and as we focus on developing one in our life, the other is there right alongside, each providing their own peace and comfort to our soul.’

I pray that Truth, and Love, surround you all, at all times

~ Gaius Quinterus

Happiness matters!

Everyone wants to be happy, and indeed has the right to be happy. The pursuit of ‘happiness’ (whatever we take that to mean) is actually a self-perpetuating, never-ending, task for each of us, every day. We may feel it is the driving force for what we do, and it is naturally within us to try to be ‘happy’ – perhaps we think that true ‘happiness’ can come from earning enough money so we acquire a certain object, or ‘happiness’ can come from reaching a certain level of career, or….

However, one of the great truths in life is that true happiness comes when we give happiness to others – their happiness will make us happy in a very real, profound way. I am certainly not proposing we go out, spend all our money, and buy everything we can to then give it all away to others – no, that may help one or two people on the surface and may make them happy for a short time, but mere possessions do not make for long-term happiness, for anyone. Things (objects, cars, houses, possessions, etc.) all decay and fade away with time – the long-term worth is nothing!

Far better to help people feel loved, accepted, cared-for, valued and appreciated, which is something that often costs nothing financially but can bring untold rewards for us all, and those rewards and benefits encourage and sustain even more people to give in such a way too. The returns are true positive returns, true happiness and will long outlast our puny bodies ! Giving of your time and love is a gift beyond price, and the reward to others (and therefore to your own soul) is also without price, but is to be sought out and aimed for at every opportunity.

In all things, and this is an important final thought just now, make sure your happiness does not remove the happiness from anyone else, or the potential for them to enjoy their happiness. The best way to be happy is to help others to be happy, then there can be no conflict of interest and everyone wins – including you! Be blessed,  bless others, and be happy!

~ Gaius Quinterus

 

Everyone seeks, and deserves, happiness. Share happiness with others, as a loving mother shares her life with her child!

~ Gaius Quinterus

 

The Path…

I hadn’t been around on this planet for long before I realised that life wasn’t always going to be ‘a breeze’. My first (very vivid) memories are of being 3 months old and I can still, very clearly, see the things around me – my mother’s clothes, the wall coverings in my bedroom, as well as smelling the hateful powder that it was insisted be used on me (I have always loathed the smell of Johnson’s Baby Powder ever since), and I well remember experiencing the hunger of a rapidly growing baby, as you would expect – well, I am male after all…!

Not much you can do for yourself as a baby, but the eager, fresh young mind is working and trying to figure things out – and watching the Path of Life stretching off into the distance starts to become real experience, signposted with expectations, desires and challenges. Never forget that a baby is watching, thinking and studying the world – it is taking the first steps on its own Path and needs help and encouragement at every stage. As life unfolds, and the years pile on, then other elements creep in – relationships with parents, siblings, toddler ‘friends’ etc. – the ability to go and find food for yourself from the cupboard (I bet we can all remember the excitement of sneaking in to the kitchen without being spotted and having that extra biscuit or bit of cake when we were only just old enough to be able to reach the kitchen worktops by standing on a chair?) – and then there was the horrendously difficult experience of school……

All, in all, life has its challenges at any and every age – perhaps we will discuss these more in the future – but it is the principle I want us to consider for now.

Life is a journey, an exploration of ourselves, and a challenge at many levels and in many ways. Interestingly (well, it is to me) is how one person’s challenge is sometimes of no consequence to someone else… For me it was (primarily) always my interactions with people that caused my biggest difficulties… I know now it is because of how my brain is ‘wired’ but no-one had any clue back then (1950s, 60s, etc.) so being ‘accepted’ wasn’t something that happened to me very often. Living a life of isolation (from other people’s feelings) drives you to look inside yourself for your own advice and counsel, makes you find and depend on your own innate strengths, and forces you to examine cause and effect in much more detail then people who seem to float through life as though on that first-mentioned ‘breeze’.

But, and here is the crux of what I am trying to say – and I apologise for the side-tracking by baby powder, and cake – each and every person has their OWN sets of problems to deal with – ones that are hard for THEM to handle, even if they may not seem like a problem to you, or even to anyone else you know.

The Path we travel is very much one that is ours individually, and not one belonging to someone else, but we can take great heart and comfort from the fact that it is one we can travel with shed-loads of experience handed down from others ahead of us and alongside us (if we want to learn from them), and it is a journey where we can also help others travel theirs – think of us all on a massive road together in this world – and doing what we can to keep everyone buoyed up and encouraged – sometimes we need more help than we can give out, but other times, when we have perhaps found a way over some specific obstacle, or round some particular problem, and it is then we can help a fellow traveller on their way too. Remember our discussion on Ripples, last time… it’s that sort of positive ripple effect that helps all of us travel better together, as a great group of Humanity, through this life 🙂

Peace, good health, enjoy The Path 🙂

‘Often, as we travel this path that is our life, we are shrouded in doubt, cannot see more than a short distance ahead, and have concerns about where we are heading. Things can seem dark and suffocating, as the smoke of a personal conflict, problem or sadness stings our eyes. There are always trip hazards, ready to cause us to stumble and doubt ourselves. We might sometimes lose all sense of direction completely, and have to stop for a while, to gather our strength, worrying that we do not have the ability to continue.
But consider the traveller on their chosen road (just like any of us) – there are times when mist surrounds them, perhaps a rough surface slows their progress, they may be thirsty, hungry, too hot or too cold, or a throng of other people makes quiet travel impossible for a time. In all things the traveller must have faith in the road continuing to its destination as it should, even when they cannot see it clearly, or it is hard to endure. So too, with our lives. Our path in life may have periods of being uneven, or its direction unclear, but it is still there, still waiting for us, and it is ours personally to travel and experience, no-one else’s. Take strength from the fact that many have walked even more difficult paths, with less strength, and yet have reached their goal with courage, faith and perseverance, finding peace and hope as they enjoy the life they have been given.’

~ Gaius Quinterus

The Ripple Creators

In my last blog post (‘Everything … is for a purpose.’) I used the analogy of a river as being a way to think of how our lives progress from start to finish, and I would quite like to stay with the notion of water this time, too.

One thing that has been crystallised for me, through my observations of people, is that although everyone is uniquely and wonderfully different, there are certain categories that can often (surprisingly often in fact) be loosely applied across the majority of the population with regard to their influence on others for the greater good. People can often move in and out from one category to another, dependent on life’s circumstances, but I have found the following general categories can be very helpful when trying to determine my own state of mind, or when trying to evaluate my personal progress or situation. Applied to others the categories can be useful to know who is best to approach for guidance or support, or who in fact is in most need of support and understanding from me.

The three simple categories are:
1. Ripple Creators
2. Ripple Reflectors
3. Ripple Users

So, what you may well ask, are ‘ripples’? Well, they are the positive things we do, say and engage in to help others – the things that can make other people’s lives better in some way, help with how they feel about themselves and their circumstances, and give them a boost or ‘lift’ spiritually, emotionally, socially and personally as they go about coping with whatever they are living through.

We hear the expression ‘making waves’ but waves are a bit frantic for my liking – they are altogether too adrenaline-filled, muscle-bound and violent at times – generically destructive and over powering to cope with when they start slamming into things. Ripples are different – they are gentler, more finely tuned to the circumstances, and don’t seek to smash anything (or anyone) to bits – just gently nudge things along. Think of waves-v-ripples in this way – you carefully make a small paper boat and set it floating on a pond – you want to encourage it to go in a certain direction, so you toss in the small pebble or stone alongside it, or behind it, to create a few ripples to help it bob along in your desired direction – but a big stone that creates waves will just sink the flimsy vessel, which is not what you want at all…

So, you get the drift – ripples are helpful, useful, generally easy to create and can guide, nudge and encourage when applied with skill and  care and to the right extent.

Ripple Creators are good at starting ripples – they often have an instinctive ‘nose’ for when a ripple is needed, and have a knack of how to create it, as well as when and where. The creation process can take years of practice of course, and may not always come naturally when you feel under-the-weather yourself, but creating ripples is fun and a very positive thing to do – as well as helping move things/people/situations in the right direction the ripples make you (the Ripple Creator) feel good too 🙂 It’s called a big ‘Win-Win’ situation. Ripple Creators are essential people to have around – they are the ever-focussed eye of awareness and action, never stinting to help others around them – even ones they don’t know personally. But, no-one can be expected to always be giving without a little rest sometimes themselves – so now we come to the second category, where you will oftentimes find Ripple Creators while they recharge their ‘batteries’ …

Ripple Reflectors are often the largest group in the population – in the dream-world of cyber-space they can be thought of as people on Facebook who ‘Share’ a funny story, or ReTweet a helpful word or two from someone else. However, in the real 3D world where it truly matters most, they may just be someone who is ‘paying forwards’ having been given a help-up themselves in life – so they are reflecting and bouncing back the ripples so the ripples can go on and help someone else. For instance, imagine you are in a shop, trying to struggle out the door when someone reaches out and holds the door open for you – they are being a Ripple Creator. So, the next chance you get to return the favour to someone else you are being a Ripple Reflector, effectively becoming a type of Ripple Creator too, simply grown from when something nice was done for you – and so it goes on – the ripple never dies and instead keeps bouncing around and often even growing! Being a Ripple Reflector is fun too – not as much fun as creating ripples, but it is still great to see how we can move things on in life, in a positive way wherever we have something positive happen to, or for, us first.

Ripple Users are our third, and in some ways most important, category. They are where the ripples stop – the shallow, or maybe weed-filled, shorelines of existence which absorb the ripples. Nothing bounces back – no further movement happens, but that is because the ripples have reached someone who really needs them – someone who is unable to generate any ripples themselves, can’t even reflect anything because they are struggling so much, and these are the people the Ripple Creators were always hoping to help, sometime, somewhere, when they first created the tiny movements on the waters of life. We have all been Ripple Users at times – periods in our lives where we suck in more energy than we can give out – where we need more help given to us than we can ever see ourselves being able to repay – but that is OK, it is normal, it happens, and it is LIFE! It’s one of the very greatest joys to see Ripple Users so often get back on their feet and be able to become at least Ripple Reflectors and sometimes they even become inspired Ripple Creators themselves, directly drawing on their own experiences to motivate and encourage others.

Thus the cycle continues, the ripples keep going round and round and round, and everyone gets a bit of the Win-Win situation too after a while 🙂

So, what’s the affirmation, I hear you ask? Well, here it is, and I hope it can help inspire you, as so many have created ripples that have helped me, I will also try to be ‘out there’ creating ripples too, whenever I can.

Peace and love to you all 🙂

——————————-

‘Like ripples in a pond, your life affects those around you, which will affect those around them, and so on… Make sure you only create good ripples that encourage people to create even more good ripples themselves. Who knows how many hundreds, or even thousands, of people could be positively affected by one act of kindness?’

~ Gaius Quinterus

Everything … is for a purpose.

I regularly contemplate my place in this world, and how everything ‘fits’ together – nothing new in that endeavour – it has been the quest of thinking peoples, probably since time began…

This affirmation describes one of the ways I have tried to reconcile how life seems to work around (and with) me – I hope it can strike a chord with some of you.

(The picture is of Glen Garry, just to the west of Loch Ness in Scotland, and was taken by me)

Peace and health to you all.

——————–

‘Everything we experience in life is for a purpose, by design, and for the good of ourselves and those around us, even if we do not understand it at the time. Our lives are like rivers that start very small and quiet – a gentle trickle of precious water that delights all who see it. As we gather more experiences, both turbulent and peaceful, our waters gather strength and speed, taking us through new and interesting places, until we reach obstacles that prevent us going forwards in the way we plan. Sometimes we rush through, carrying the earth and bushes with us, and sometimes we gather in pools of liquid strength, and then carve a fresh channel towards our distant goal. At times we are joined by others along the journey, some enriching our flow and some diverting parts of us to different destinations. Some stay with us, and some take new routes in their search for their true worth. We may give a part of our strength to other streams, or set some of our strength to one side in lakes, for many others to use. As we get older, our pace may quicken as we make a new path through unmapped country, or our pace may slow and the bushes, the trees, and the earth we gathered are set aside for new growth to start along our path. Throughout our journey, we are using what we started with, and what our experiences have added to us, to be what we are meant to be – useful to the land around us, watering and nourishing the fields, while still progressing to our final merging with all the other waters on this great journey of life.’

            ~ Gaius Quinterus